“How do I unfreeze and start living?”

By Katherine Hood on April 16, 2024


Submitted Request..

This post is an answer to a submitted question. It aims to provide help and solutions to overcome the issue.

Podcast version: HERE

Quote: “To overcome analysis paralysis, you don't require additional information; you must take action.”

Adding to the quote:  Taking action, even if it is imperfect or incomplete, is often better than staying stuck in a cycle of indecision. Honestly doing it and making mistakes is where the learning and growth happens. No one, not me or anyone can tell you how to do it, we all are working from our own reality, what works for me or you would be very different.  Facing your fears and taking small steps forward, whatever that looks like for you and being willing to learn and adjust along the way, you can break free from feeling frozen. Each step, every bit of progress will feel good on the other side, and will result in proof and evidence for your brain that you are capable, you are ok, you are safe, you are worthy and brave! Remember, it's better to take imperfect action than staying in the comfort of doing nothing. We are meant to explore, learn, adapt, stretch and discover new things. 

Submitted Question

“How do I unfreeze and start living.? I'm feeling really stuck right now. Five years ago, I had all these goals - finish college, get a job, get my license. But here I am at 27, and I haven't accomplished any of them. I spend most days at home overthinking and worrying, and I'm scared to even start. I know I want to change things, but the fear is holding me back. Any advice on how to overcome this and finally start working towards my goals?” 

My Response if we were in a coaching setting. Although without being able to ask questions, I may assume or use scenarios to fill in the gaps.

Feeling frozen and stuck feels hopeless. 

It is completely understandable that fear is what is holding you back from reaching your full potential. 

The human mind has a tendency to create an illusion that can often feel and seem really scary. 

The things that we pay attention to and believe often seem more daunting and intimidating than they may actually be in reality. This can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and hesitation, preventing us from taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zones. By acknowledging this, becoming aware and almost suspicious of it, and becoming more in tune with what the purpose is will allow you to move through it and start to empower you to break free from the grip of fear and embrace new opportunities. I like to call this loop a habit of thought. 

We feel our thoughts, certainly many will argue we feel things that happen to us, and it might appear that way but it's not true or even possible. (omitting abuse)

Challenging our thoughts and beliefs is essential, and we should not allow fear to control or dictate our actions, life and decisions.

Your brilliant mind is working super hard to keep you safe. 

Understanding how your brain works and how your mind is protecting you by separating your thoughts from who you are and who you want to be.

Your circumstances are not the same as your imagination. Circumstances are facts, things happening that a jury could see with their own eyes and all would agree occurred, this is absent of any emotion, just pure facts. Your imagination, your reality, how you're experiencing life, is unique to you like snowflakes, it's a mixture of your thoughts, stories, beliefs, rules, opinions, assumptions, judgments, impressions and more.. 

I get the sense you're isolating yourself, and you're hard on yourself. There's so much fear, worry and anxiety that continues to grow from how you describe your current situation. What's not clear is who do you want to be? What is that person you envision doing? What are they prioritizing? What is important to them? How do you want to feel at the end of the day? Can you articulate, visualize, and construct a detailed portrayal of the person you aspire to become?

Your question is super clear on how you feel now, it's unclear how you want to feel. If you're not able to envision, dream about it, see it, or articulate it you'll stay stuck in your thought loop that's rooted in your survival brain. Our brain is super simplistic, it loves certainty, and ultimately wants to protect its human. When we paint a picture of doom and gloom riddle with fear based thoughts, it's natural for the feeling of uncertainty, fear, anxiety, stress and worry to rise. Further shrinking your world. 

Your brain doesn't care if you get a job, get a license, if you're popular, successful, happy or living your best life. 

If you're feeding and believing thoughts that are fear based your brain will cling to these thoughts and depending on your level of awareness and consciousness you will feel the thoughts and your brain will go into overdrive looking for proof and evidence you are not worthy, not good enough and different. This will shrink a person's world down and result in further isolation. With well meaning intentions to keep you safe. See, your brain is working super hard for you.

Once you deeply understand how your brain works, make peace with it, and thank it for doing such an amazing job. It's now about training your brain to work hard to create a life that you want, unlearning habit loops that serve you better. This does take being fully ready, a commitment, and determination. Is it easy, well it actually is if you believe it is, and it will be. That goes for anything in life really. It's what stories you create, envision and believe.

Learning to work with your brain to create a life that you want often does require a thinking partner, someone that will show you your blind spots and help you stay on track. (like me a life coach skilled in this area)

It sounds like you're fed up and that's understandable. I am here to tell you, you're capable and worthy!

I hope this helps.

 I wish you all the best. 

Please share this with anyone you believe would benefit from the insights. Post a comment, I read and reply to them all. Thank you in advance!

If you want to send a question, please send to [email protected] please include: 

  • A coachable question (something that addresses what's in your control, your thoughts, feelings or actions.)

  • And context, explain a situation in the past, currently going through, or worries/concerns of the future, giving me some details on your thoughts and feelings about it. 

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